


Carry Me Home

by inkandwords



Series: Azumane Asahi Week 2015 - Tumblr Event [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a Tumblr Post, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, atsu fics, azumaneasahiweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5161310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkandwords/pseuds/inkandwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sees it now. Sees the cracks in the fragile dam, angry fissures spidering out until there’s nothing left but to let it break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carry Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 3 and 6 (Angst and Expressions) of [Azumane Asahi Week](http://azumaneasahiweek.tumblr.com/). I blame [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsXcc_tC-o).

“Why?!”

_Because..._

Asahi’s jaw clenches and Noya reciprocates. Pain brims behind brown eyes he knows as well as his own, their warmth now igniting to flames that lick, that stretches, burns. Noya sees the glass heart shatter, sees the last of Asahi’s control disintegrate. Desperate, bewildered, a house of cards toppling down, down, down into a rabbit hole and Noya falls with him. To catch him. To tether. To lead him back where he belongs. Even as Noya’s insides writhe and strangle him; his silent burden dull and heavy in his chest.

“Why me?!”

_You’re my North._

With a step forward, Asahi surges. Forceful like a storm, determined to find the answer as his gaze bores holes the size of volcanoes through Noya’s resolve. 

But Noya stays the course, refuses to back down. 

“Why do you want to be with  _me_?!”

_Home._

The last word cracks, breaks into tiny shards that cut deep and true and real. And Noya feels it all. Drinks it in. Endures.

“Why, Nishinoya?!”

_Because you’re ‘home’._

Noya is silent, mutinous eyes set on Asahi. Watching, waiting with bated breath for the change in expression, the minute shift to signal that Asahi’s thunderous, pleading tirade is over.

Through the years, he’s learned how to read between the lines, learned to observe the hypocrisy in Asahi’s expressions. It used to stump him then, the differences only he could see. When Asahi was happy, when he was sad, when he was angry. He can read what was real and what was put there to fool not only the people around him, but, Noya was convinced, even Asahi himself. 

Asahi’s facade - the doctored smiles, his pretense that he doesn’t care, that nothing matters because he can’t fit the bill, can’t fit the mold everyone is trying to shape him with. Noya sees past it all. Sees past all of Asahi’s misconceptions. That he’s broken, irreparable, worthless. 

Noya hadn’t believed him even when they screamed and yelled until their voices were raw and ragged, high with emotion; asteroids from opposite sides colliding to make their mark on each other. Forever marred, forever fractured, but connected all the same.

He sees it now. Sees the cracks in the fragile dam, angry fissures spidering out until there’s nothing left but to let it break.

Asahi releases Noya and takes a step back. Deflates. Crumples. Mournful and hopeless and everything else in between that Noya fights to keep at bay. His shoulders go first, slumping with the weight of the world he carries in his head. The rest of him follows and bows low, the pillar that had kept him upright, taken down like an idol statue shattered to a million pieces. 

And Noya picks them up. Picks up every fractured stone, every splinter, every shard. Picks them up and holds them close like buried treasure found after years of searching. 

Not worthless. 

Never worthless.

Asahi’s voice is thick, his agony remaining even as his conviction wavers. 

“I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t--” He pauses to lift his head, to meet Noya’s eyes, to convince him. “I don’t deserve  _you_. Why can’t you see that?”

But Noya stays the course, refuses to back down.

He takes a step and drops to his knees, pious and reverent and in awe of every expression that Asahi now wears. His hands cradle Asahi’s face, fingertips tracing the sharp curve of his stubbled jaw. His thumb sweeps across Asahi’s parted lips, so careful and tender and unafraid that Asahi sighs through a noticeable shiver and leans into the touch. 

“’Cause,” Noya begins, nervous and calm all at once. A contradiction. His mouth maps a constellation, each kiss for every expression. First the eyelids, the flutter of Asahi’s damp lashes brushing Noya’s cheeks. The crease between his eyebrows is next, then his temples, lingering and making Noya bold. Bold enough to say what he needs to say to keep Asahi from sinking deeper, to pull him from the wreckage he’s made of himself. “You’re not worthless. You’re not irreparable.” 

His grasp on Asahi’s face strengthens as he forces Asahi to meet his gaze, to meet him halfway. “Even if you break, I’ll be here. To pick up your fuckin’ pieces, to put you back together. ‘Cause that’s what you’d do for me. That’s us. That’s what you deserve ‘cause you’re so much more than that hole you’ve dug yourself. More than those goddamn demons ya can’t shake.” 

His lips make contact with the damp streaks on Asahi’s cheeks. Then they move on, brushing the tip of Asahi’s nose, ghosting across Asahi’s mouth. Each kiss a promise, a resolve. He pays attention to the changes in Asahi’s expression now, the subtlety of each minute shift as Asahi emerges from the rabbit hole and sinks against him instead. 

Anchored.

Tethered.

_Safe_.

He draws him close, takes the shards and splinters and broken stones, and puts him them back together. Stronger, more secure. Fills in the gaps and holes with bits of himself; the mortar and cement that keeps Asahi intact. Noya bats at the demons, pushes them away and holds Asahi there, arms wrapped tightly around him like a stronghold until he feels Asahi’s heartbeat slow, the drumming between them syncing. Like they always have. Like they always will. 

Noya closes his eyes and exhales. 

“Why do you want to be with me?” Asahi asks again. Quiet, whispered,  _frightened_. Words too timid, too small for someone so big, for someone who can crush Noya with his power and strength and heart, but chooses not to. 

“’Cause you’re home. You’re home to me.”

And maybe this time, it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @ [limitlessmonster](http://limitlessmonster.tumblr.com). :D


End file.
